February 13th was my last day of work. Yes, I resigned.
Brave? Irresponsible? Weak? How would you describe it?
My burnout symptoms were manifesting themselves deeply in my body. My body has been aching, I have been sleeping and the smallest task was starting to feel like it needed a huge amount of energy. I’ve been to acupuncture twice this week to get it all in balance. They told me that basically my body had gone under significant stress and my adrenal glands were fatigued. The kidneys/adrenal glands are responsible for our sense of fight or flight.
My body is fighting to stay alive and keep going. That’s what it feels like. But it’s fighting so hard that everything is shutting down.
February 14th- my first day off work- I was on the couch for most of the day watching TV. Leaving work felt like a breakup. The thought of potentially changing my life path overwhelms my fragile body and mind. So I had to lay still, and make myself numb yesterday.
The one thing that keeps surprising me is that so many friends and colleagues have expressed excitement for me; excited for what my life has in store for me. But guess what? I don’t know what that is. But they’re excited.
My friend texted me yesterday saying “welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.”
February 15th- my second day off work- I went straight into Yoga teacher training. I’m not saying I’m in the best place to jump into this, but I really need it. And I struggled today but came out at the end feeling good.
So, here we go world, future. I hope my spirit regains strength. I hope I remain open to the world of possibilities. And somewhere on the inside, buried underneath all this stuff, I am excited for yoga teacher training. It’s a really positive first page of the next chapter of my life.
I’ll be ready for you world. Just give me some time.