On Being Single at Thirty-One. Hello 2014!

I am a Thirty-one year old single woman who  loves her life the way it is. I have so many creative pursuits.  I have my own cozy little apartment that’s a constant art project in progress. I have a fulfilling career. I cultivate deep and profound friendships, of which I have so many. I am […]

On Daddy Issues.

According to attachment theory, our attachment styles in adult relationships were established when we were mere babes, based on our relationships with our primary caregivers, or parents. I just realized that this year I’m working through my relationships with my parents through my relationships with men. The idea of daddy issues suddenly popped up for […]

On Casual Sex.

It’s been over a week since I had that God-awful experience with “married guy” and my reflections have been plenty. But today’s reflective question which keeps spiraling around my thoughts is, since when did casual sex = treating people shit??? The second time I hung out with “married guy” after meeting him at this club […]

On Shame.

I feel sad, disappointed and a bit shamed. I slept with the “married guy” last night. After coming clean about why sometimes I resist him. Told him I was looking for something more real. He’s not. I said that I needed to keep it really casual between us because I didn’t want to be emotionally […]

On sleeping with a married man. Part I.

I’m not sure it’s true. Someone he knew mentioned a wife to my friend the night I met him. But the way he was on the hunt that night and the way he acts I mean…I just can’t believe he’s married. Divorced, separated, a girlfriend perhaps…but there’s no way he’s in a committed relationship with […]

On a letter to a lover.

Dear S. It’s been just under two months and we’ve had such an intense and bumpy beginning. I’ve spent the weekend intellectualizing and trying to analyze our dynamic and unresolvable tensions with my friends. Worrying where this is going. Why we can’t seem to give each other what we need. What gets lost in the […]

On choosing a therapist.

I booked my first appointment with a therapist last week and had my first session yesterday. Before I say how it was, I just want to say that I have high expectations for therapists and am overly critical of them. The first time I ever went was when I was doing my undergrad. I used […]

On Dating in your Thirties.

I’m learning very quickly that dating in your Thirties is a whole different ballgame. People are much more likely going to state what they’re looking for at the outset: on the first date; or on their online dating profile! And, if you don’t fall within the parameters of their criteria, you don’t really have a […]

On Text Messages.

How is it that I’m Thirty years old and I’m still: – Asking 4 friends what they think about me texting the guy first after our first date – Writing 2 different drafts of the text message to my girlfriend before sending it out – Running his response text by 4 friends – Reacting super sensitively […]

On Sleepovers.

What’s the general rule of thumb around sleepovers? On my last date, my date and I had sex. I live alone. The date was at my apartment. We finished at around 12:30pm. I had work the next day. My date was a student, and therefore less concerned with being alert during the hours of 9 […]