On Daddy Issues.

According to attachment theory, our attachment styles in adult relationships were established when we were mere babes, based on our relationships with our primary caregivers, or parents. I just realized that this year I’m working through my relationships with my parents through my relationships with men. The idea of daddy issues suddenly popped up for […]

On giving yourself permission…to be bad.

When I reflect on the tumultuous romantic relationships I’ve had in 2013, I realize that there’s a huge theme here. For the first time in my life, I’m allowing myself to get involved with the following (THIS IS SO NOT ME): politically incorrect men; masculine men with high sex drives; “married men”; emotionally unavailable men; […]

On Casual Sex.

It’s been over a week since I had that God-awful experience with “married guy” and my reflections have been plenty. But today’s reflective question which keeps spiraling around my thoughts is, since when did casual sex = treating people shit??? The second time I hung out with “married guy” after meeting him at this club […]

On Shame.

I feel sad, disappointed and a bit shamed. I slept with the “married guy” last night. After coming clean about why sometimes I resist him. Told him I was looking for something more real. He’s not. I said that I needed to keep it really casual between us because I didn’t want to be emotionally […]

On sleeping with a married man. Part I.

I’m not sure it’s true. Someone he knew mentioned a wife to my friend the night I met him. But the way he was on the hunt that night and the way he acts I mean…I just can’t believe he’s married. Divorced, separated, a girlfriend perhaps…but there’s no way he’s in a committed relationship with […]

On a letter to a lover.

Dear S. It’s been just under two months and we’ve had such an intense and bumpy beginning. I’ve spent the weekend intellectualizing and trying to analyze our dynamic and unresolvable tensions with my friends. Worrying where this is going. Why we can’t seem to give each other what we need. What gets lost in the […]

On Sleepovers.

What’s the general rule of thumb around sleepovers? On my last date, my date and I had sex. I live alone. The date was at my apartment. We finished at around 12:30pm. I had work the next day. My date was a student, and therefore less concerned with being alert during the hours of 9 […]

On Oral Sex.

Since I was a mature teen (we’re talking 18 years old here), I have always really enjoyed performing oral sex. I would happily go down on my boyfriends of my late adolescence and early twenties. I approached it with curiosity, enthusiasm to please and it turned me on. Even with sporadic hook-ups, giving head was […]

On not asking me enough questions.

So I have been on four dates with this pretty eccentric fellow. He is smart, interesting and likes to talk a lot. He is also kind, affectionate and a pretty good lover. I learned this after our third date, when we had a sleepover.  Our fourth date was this past week. He came over for […]

On Companionship.

For the past year or so, I have kind of been coming to terms with the fact that I am interested in something more serious and long-term when it comes to the world of relationships and romance. I’ve also been telling my friends: “I am ready for love!”, fully aware of the cheesy-ness that accompanies […]